Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A Heart That Makes a House a Home

Proverbs 14:1, "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands."


In the above verse, the infinitive "to build" means, literally, to make and to set up a house. This verse refers not only to the structure and upkeep of the home, but also to the family itself. You see, a home is not only a place - it's also people! One insightful scholar explains the verse this way:

Although the Hebrew word for "house" and "home" is the same, "home" is the preferred word here. A house is not always a home and this verse does not speak of house construction, masonry, or carpentry but of home building; the knitting together of family and the day-be-day routine of creating a happy and comfortable place for a family to live.

And who is responsible for the quality of life in that place where the family lives? The woman! She sets the mood and maintains the atmosphere inside the home. In fact, this proverb teaches that if the woman is wise, she diligently and purposefully creates that atmosphere. She doesn't just hope it will happen.

Creating the Atmosphere

Creating the atmosphere of a home is very much like using your thermostat to regulate the temperature inside your house. You decide on a ideal temperature for you family and set the dial to a comfortable level.

Proverbs 15:1a, "A soft answer turns away wrath."

James 3:18, "Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

Proverbs 12:25, "Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad."

Building a Refuge

At the center of family life, the home ministers to our family far more than we might imagine. Our children as well as our husbands benefit from our building efforts. One counselor reported that "a secure home life tends to reduce frustration and uneasiness in a child's life, and it gives them the ability to cope with pressures more effectively."

Webster's Dictionary defines a refuge as a place of protection, a shelter or a sanctuary where one can be safe from pursuit, danger, or trouble. Even the word "refuge" brings a calmness to heart and soul.

Avoiding the Negatives

It would be wise to take another look at the second part of our verse this week. "...but the foolish [woman] pulls it down with her hands." 

To pull down a home means to break or destroy it, to beat or break it down - to ruin it. How can a woman pull down her own home? How can she be a one-woman demolition machine?  

First, a woman can cause great damage actively by working destruction. What, for instance, does anger out of control do? It throws, it slams, it tears, and it rips. It also breaks things as well as rules.

The second way to ruin a home is passive - by simply failing to work. We can slowly erode the foundation of our home by our laziness, by simply "never getting around to it," by neglect, by forgetting to pay a bill...or two, by successfully putting things off, by not spending enough time at home. Then there's the problem of too much - too much TV, too much reading, too much shopping, too much time with friends, too much time spent on the phone or internet.

Yes, But How?

How does a woman who desire sin her heart to make a house a home carry out the building process? What can we do to be used by God to create the kind of place He has in mind for our families?

Understand that wisdom builds.

The wise woman is aware that she's on assignment from God and knows that building a home is a lifelong endeavor. The teaching of the Bible is clear, and so is the sharp contrast between the wise woman and the foolish woman. Wisdom builds -- and builds and builds -- avoiding any attitude or act that doesn't build. And this kind of building effort is wise whether you're building a home for yourself or for a husband and children.

Decide to begin building.

It's never too late to begin - or begin again - to build your house, to create an enchanted oasis called "home."

Each day, do one thing to build your home.

Look around your home, inside and out. Make a list of the things that need to be added, repaired, set up, etc., so that your area is more of a refuge. Then do just one item on your list each day -- or even one each week.

You may also want to deal with one attitude that, if improved and transformed by God, would enhance the atmosphere of the home.  

A Heart Response...

Search your heart and your home. As you consider the wise woman and the foolish woman, which one is most like you? Where are you placing your focus and investing your energy? Look beneath the cleaning and cooking ... to your heart.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A Heart Overflowing with Motherly Affection

Titus 2:3,4, "[The older women] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children."


Phileo is the word God chose to convey mother-love here in Titus 2:4. This is an affectionate love, a love that cherishes its object. It is friendship love, a love that enjoys children, a love that likes them! God calls parents to build the family on a foundation of Biblical teaching, instruction, and discipline. The home gains a heart, however, when parents not only love their children but like them as well.

1.  A Heart That Prays

The greatest gift of love you and I can give our children is to pray for them. Beginning each day by praying for your children benefits them in countless ways even as it draws them deeper into your heart. What kind of prayers are you praying for your dear children?

2.  A Heart That Provides

A heart overflowing with motherly affection lovingly and graciously provides the necessities of life for her precious family -- nourishing food, clean clothing, and a safe home. Although we may not get too excited about running our homes on a schedule or cooking another meal or doing another load of laundry, a heart filled with motherly affection does just that. It puts self aside and loves the people in her home by caring for their physical needs.

Many mothers wonder why their children act up, talk back, are grumpy, and require so much discipline. Maybe it's because Mom isn't providing the basics of nutritious, scheduled meals, clean bodies, clean clothes, and adequate sleep and rest.

3.  A Heart That Is Happy

When our children (and our husbands!) can count on us to be happy, home life and family relationships take a leap toward heaven. When the alarm has just gone off in the morning, or you're picking the children up from school, or they're walking in the door after their own activities, they need to know that you will be happy.

Proverbs 15:13a, "A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance."

Proverbs 17:22a, "A merry heart does good, like medicine."

3.  A Heart That Gives

The Bible is full of exhortations for Christians to be about the business of giving. As we've seen several times already, that's how our Savior lived. Here are a few principles that can help us be mothers who give, mothers who serve -- and who do so with affection, warmth, and energy.

Give because it is your role.

Mark 10:45, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

Because of who God is, a woman after His heart is a woman who gives. As Christians we are to give, as wives we are to give, as mothers we are to give, as singles we are to give, as members of a church body we are to give. We give the smile, the cheerful greeting, the hug, the compliment, the encouragement, the praise, the meal, the time, the listening ear, the ride . . . and list goes on and on.

Give generously.

Take heed of these two sowing and reaping passages from the New Testament:

2 Corinthians 9:6, "But this I say: He [She] who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he [she] who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully."

Galatians 6:7, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever a man [mother] sows, that he [she] will also reap.

Give expecting nothing in return.

Even as we consider the principle of sowing and reaping, we must remember that mothers are to have no ulterior or selfish motives when it comes to giving. We serve and take care of our children simply because God says to.

5.  A Heart of Fun

Living in your home should be an absolute ball for every family member. Learn to smile and laugh -- a lot!  Don't take yourself too seriously.  

Lord, just for today, help my heart overflow with motherly affection by filling me with your joy. Help me realize that it's okay to laugh and it's okay to have fun.  Amen.