A Heart That Follows -- Part 1

Ephesians 5:22a, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."

The Christian lifestyle - for men as well as women - is one of submission. Each one is called to be "submitting to one another" (Ephesians 5:21). God's desire for us -- married or single, young or old, male or female -- is to honor, serve, and subject ourselves to one another. Let's consult the following Scriptural examples of this truth:

1 Corinthians 16:16, "...that you also submit to such, and to everyone who works and labors with us."

Ephesians 5:21, "...submitting to one another in the fear of God."

Hebrews 13:17, "Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you."

James 4:7a, "Therefore submit to God."

1 Peter 2:13-15, "Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether to the king as supreme, or to governors, as to those who are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men."

1 Peter 2:18, "...be submissive to your masters [employers] with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh."

1 Peter 5:5, "Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility."

It's clear that we reflect Christ's character as we move away from selfishness and, acting out of honor for other people, defer to them. A heart willing to follow and submit, dedicated to honoring and yielding to others, is to be the heart of God's people, His church, and His women.

When it comes to marriage...

...God arranged for the sake of order that the husband lead and the wife follow. For marriages to run smoothly, God has said, "The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God" (1 Corinthians 11:3).

God, the perfect Artist, designed marriage to be beautiful, natural, and functional by giving it a single head, the husband. However, his headship does not mean that we wives can't offer wise input, enter into a discussion, or ask questions for clarification during the decision-making process. The husband's headship does mean that he is responsible for the final decision.

In the end, the husband is accountable to God for his leadership decisions, and we are accountable to God for how we follow that leadership.

A Note from Karen

Take heart and please stay with me in this Bible study. The author is spoon-feeding us some very important truths from the Bible that for some may be very hard to swallow! What we are seeking out is the whole counsel of God, and this is going to take more than one or two posts to explain. I hope that you'll prayerfully consider these Scriptures and consult the study guide personally. The Lord has a perfect design for our marriages and I pray that we'll all find His will for us.

Matthew 6:33, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

A Heart That Serves

Genesis 2:18, "Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.'"

A woman after God's own heart is a woman who carefully cultivates a servant spirit, whether she is married or not. She desires to follow in the steps of Jesus, who "did not come to be served, but to serve" (Matthew 20:28). Of course, if you are a married woman, that attitude and service starts at home with your family. And more specifically, with your husband.

God has designed the wife to be her husband's helper, and a helper is one who shares her man's responsibilites, responds to his nature with understanding and love, and wholeheartedly cooperates with him in working out the plan of God.

Since marriage is a partnership designed by God, we must go to Him and ask, "How, Lord, can I develop a heart committed to service, a heart intent on emulating You in service to another person? How can I take action in order to prove my desire to serve my husband?"

Here are some proven steps to take as you seek to be a "suitable helper."

1. Make a commitment to help your husband. Let your words reflect your decision to help your husband be successful, to be a team with him, and to make helping him the priority focus of your every day.

2. Focus on your husband. God wants us wives to focus our energy and efforts on our husbands. Each of us is to focus on his tasks, his goals, his responsibilities.

Ask: "What can I do for you today?"

Ask: "What can I do to help you make better use of your time today?"

3. Ask of your actions, Will this help or hinder my husband? That simple question can be a good lens through which to look at how we act in our marriages.

Helping is a simple and noble assignment - and it reaps rich rewards. Living out God's assignment certainly benefits our husbands and anyone else we serve, but we benefit as well as we learn to serve as Christ did.

Philippians 2:7, "but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men."

Matthew 20:26-28, "It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

The Lord Jesus is our ultimate example of One Who served. Because being a servant is a sign of Christian maturity, we must ask ourselves if we are truly ready for it. If so, you must set your heart on it.

In your marriage, do you see yourself as a team player, free of any competitive actions, thoughts, or desires? Is bettering your husband's life your primary concern? Is helping your husband the main focus of your energy?

Pray this prayer.

Lord, my desire is to be the helper to my husband that you designed me to be. Help me, Lord, take the steps necessary to become a better team player. Amen.