A Heart That Follows -- Part 2

Giving the Gift of Leadership

Let's review Ephesians 5:22 in another version, "You wives must learn to adapt yourselves to your husbands, as you submit yourselves to the Lord."

The verse shows us that a wife is responsible for whether or not she submits to her own husband. This means submission is a wife's choice. She decides whether or not to follow her husband. No one can do it for her, and no one can make her do it. Her husband can't make her submit and follow, her church can't make her, her pastor can't make her, and neither can a counselor. She must decide to choose to defer to her husband and follow his leadership.

The "who" of submission for a wife is also clear here -- "submit to your own husbands," not to other people we admire and respect. And this is an important distinction.

Why Do We Hesitate?

The main reason why we wives hesitate to follow our husband's leadership is fear. We are afraid of what will happen if our husbands do things their way instead of our way ... or another way. Clearly, underneath God's call to us to submit lies a much deeper, more fundamental call to live a life of faith in God.  

1 Peter 3:5-6, "For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror."

Faith is the opposite of fear, but how does faith fit with following a husband's leadership? It is by faith that you and I believe God works in our lives directly through our husbands.

It is by faith in our all-knowing God that we trust that He knows our husbands' decisions and the end results of those decisions, and trusting that God redeems, if not guides, those decisions.

And, it is by faith in God that our fear is dispelled and we gain the strength to submit.

Yes, But How?

1. Dedicate your heart to honoring your husband. Change requires a decision, and that's definitely the case with submission.

2. Remember to respect. Develop the basic heart attitude of respect. Ephesians 5:33b, "Let the wife see that she respects her husband."

3. Respond to your husband's words and actions positively. 

4. Ask of each personal word, act, and attitude, "Am I bending or bucking?" Whenever tension wells up in your heart and you're resisting or questioning your husband's direction, ask yourself this question. Your answer will point out the problem.

A Note from the Author

Oh, dear one, don't let this look at God's guidelines for marriage be a cold exercise. We are talking primarily about a heart response! Your husband is your life mate. Whatever he is like, he is God's good and perfect gift to you, part of God's plan for your personal fulfillment and more important, for your spiritual development. Your Christian character becomes evident each and every time you choose from your heart to bend, to yield, to honor, to submit, to follow your husband. It's one way that you, as a woman after God's own heart, honor God.