A Heart That Makes a House a Home

Proverbs 14:1, "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands."

In the above verse, the infinitive "to build" means, literally, to make and to set up a house. This verse refers not only to the structure and upkeep of the home, but also to the family itself. You see, a home is not only a place - it's also people! One insightful scholar explains the verse this way:

Although the Hebrew word for "house" and "home" is the same, "home" is the preferred word here. A house is not always a home and this verse does not speak of house construction, masonry, or carpentry but of home building; the knitting together of family and the day-be-day routine of creating a happy and comfortable place for a family to live.

And who is responsible for the quality of life in that place where the family lives? The woman! She sets the mood and maintains the atmosphere inside the home. In fact, this proverb teaches that if the woman is wise, she diligently and purposefully creates that atmosphere. She doesn't just hope it will happen.

Creating the Atmosphere

Creating the atmosphere of a home is very much like using your thermostat to regulate the temperature inside your house. You decide on a ideal temperature for you family and set the dial to a comfortable level.

Proverbs 15:1a, "A soft answer turns away wrath."

James 3:18, "Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

Proverbs 12:25, "Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad."

Building a Refuge

At the center of family life, the home ministers to our family far more than we might imagine. Our children as well as our husbands benefit from our building efforts. One counselor reported that "a secure home life tends to reduce frustration and uneasiness in a child's life, and it gives them the ability to cope with pressures more effectively."

Webster's Dictionary defines a refuge as a place of protection, a shelter or a sanctuary where one can be safe from pursuit, danger, or trouble. Even the word "refuge" brings a calmness to heart and soul.

Avoiding the Negatives

It would be wise to take another look at the second part of our verse this week. "...but the foolish [woman] pulls it down with her hands." 

To pull down a home means to break or destroy it, to beat or break it down - to ruin it. How can a woman pull down her own home? How can she be a one-woman demolition machine?  

First, a woman can cause great damage actively by working destruction. What, for instance, does anger out of control do? It throws, it slams, it tears, and it rips. It also breaks things as well as rules.

The second way to ruin a home is passive - by simply failing to work. We can slowly erode the foundation of our home by our laziness, by simply "never getting around to it," by neglect, by forgetting to pay a bill...or two, by successfully putting things off, by not spending enough time at home. Then there's the problem of too much - too much TV, too much reading, too much shopping, too much time with friends, too much time spent on the phone or internet.

Yes, But How?

How does a woman who desire sin her heart to make a house a home carry out the building process? What can we do to be used by God to create the kind of place He has in mind for our families?

Understand that wisdom builds.

The wise woman is aware that she's on assignment from God and knows that building a home is a lifelong endeavor. The teaching of the Bible is clear, and so is the sharp contrast between the wise woman and the foolish woman. Wisdom builds -- and builds and builds -- avoiding any attitude or act that doesn't build. And this kind of building effort is wise whether you're building a home for yourself or for a husband and children.

Decide to begin building.

It's never too late to begin - or begin again - to build your house, to create an enchanted oasis called "home."

Each day, do one thing to build your home.

Look around your home, inside and out. Make a list of the things that need to be added, repaired, set up, etc., so that your area is more of a refuge. Then do just one item on your list each day -- or even one each week.

You may also want to deal with one attitude that, if improved and transformed by God, would enhance the atmosphere of the home.  

A Heart Response...

Search your heart and your home. As you consider the wise woman and the foolish woman, which one is most like you? Where are you placing your focus and investing your energy? Look beneath the cleaning and cooking ... to your heart.